My Expert Review
So last night Devin and I went and saw Twilight.
It was his first time and my third time. He just finished reading all the books and finally wanted to see the movie. We are nerds.
But given my new nerd status (seeing any movie three times in theaters makes you a nerd) I consider myself an expert on the movie and will now critique it.
I was really disappointed in their choice for Rosalee until I looked up pictures of Nikkie Reed and realized she's actually hot.
She just makes a really ugly blond.
And did anyone notice she was wearing gloves in the kitchen scene where she broke the glass bowl? What was that all about?
Bella:
You really look the part and I really want to like you but could you talk more monotone? Seriously I thought when you were scared your voice would have a least a hint of inflection but nope you kept on talking like a robot.
Edward:
I really like Rob Pattison as Edward but you know what I don't like? This EW cover. He is nasty and hairy.
Also not a fan of Robert Pattison in real life. I never thought I would say this but he is a guy who sounds better without the English accent. All you have to do is watch an interview with him and you will realize he's kinda "bleh".
And then there was Carlisle:
Does anyone else remember him from another movie? Playing the character which he will ALWAYS be type casted in my mind as?
Well hello Mike Dexter from Can't Hardly Wait! How are you? I see you've dyed your hair blond and are pretending to be hot.
I'll always know you as the guy who dumped Amanda Becket.
"I'm a loser. I broke up with the hottest girl in school, my friends all sold me out... and somebody in there just called me a fag! "
It was his first time and my third time. He just finished reading all the books and finally wanted to see the movie. We are nerds.
But given my new nerd status (seeing any movie three times in theaters makes you a nerd) I consider myself an expert on the movie and will now critique it.
Jasper:
Let's just say you do a great job of looking in pain for most of the movie, but during the baseball scene when you are wearing a blue and white baseball tee you are hot.
You are forgiven for being awkward and looking like someone just punched you in the stomach.
Rosalee:Let's just say you do a great job of looking in pain for most of the movie, but during the baseball scene when you are wearing a blue and white baseball tee you are hot.
You are forgiven for being awkward and looking like someone just punched you in the stomach.
I was really disappointed in their choice for Rosalee until I looked up pictures of Nikkie Reed and realized she's actually hot.
She just makes a really ugly blond.
And did anyone notice she was wearing gloves in the kitchen scene where she broke the glass bowl? What was that all about?Bella:
You really look the part and I really want to like you but could you talk more monotone? Seriously I thought when you were scared your voice would have a least a hint of inflection but nope you kept on talking like a robot.Edward:
I really like Rob Pattison as Edward but you know what I don't like? This EW cover. He is nasty and hairy.
Also not a fan of Robert Pattison in real life. I never thought I would say this but he is a guy who sounds better without the English accent. All you have to do is watch an interview with him and you will realize he's kinda "bleh".
And then there was Carlisle:
Does anyone else remember him from another movie? Playing the character which he will ALWAYS be type casted in my mind as?
Well hello Mike Dexter from Can't Hardly Wait! How are you? I see you've dyed your hair blond and are pretending to be hot.
I'll always know you as the guy who dumped Amanda Becket.
"I'm a loser. I broke up with the hottest girl in school, my friends all sold me out... and somebody in there just called me a fag! "
7 comments:
Oh you are hilarious. We need to watch Can't Hardly Wait. My favorite line? "I better double bag it. I don't know where her sh**'s been." I think that line every time I go to the bathroom and put down 2 of the papers in extra gross places.
p.s. Sometimes I want all my blog posts to be called "My ......" just like the Scrubs episodes all are.
Hey Laura! I just heard that Elliott was called to Brad's mission. I don't know Elliott, but he should call us if he has any questions! BTW... how are you?
So since you saw it 3 times in the theatre I assume that means you like the movie? I loved the books - not so much on the movie. Loved your review of the characters!
Holy crap! I knew he looked familiar! A- man-duh! Great movie. I agree with every critique. Rosalie is a really ugly blonde. Bella is exactly as I pictured. And Edward is glorious.
OHHHHH my heavens! that was the most hilarious thing I have ever read. Isnt funny that we see the movie a million times yet there are so many things that are just ridiculous about it. Seriously so funny and I totally agree with everything you said. ANd yeah NIki Reed in real life, HOTTTT! Poor girl that pale blonde thing really didnt work for her. And Bella! oh i just laugh at some of her line deliveries through out the movie. Awful! Oh i love ya Fletchers!
um can i just say i COMPLETELY agree with you 100% about everything you just said about their characters. thats all. just blog stalking you :-)
Post a Comment