Tuesday, August 19, 2008

stop the madness

I go to swim practice with Annie and Julia every day where EVERYONE thinks that Michael Phelps is a god. Quite frankly I'm bored with it and have started responding with this:

If you have five dollars and Michael Phelps has five dollars, Michael Phelps has more money than you.

Michael Phelps
recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Michael Phelps'
tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Michael Phelps
does not sleep. He swims.

If you spell Michael Phelps
in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Michael Phelps is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with his heritage. He ate an f*ing Indian.

Michael Phelps has the best poker face ever. He once won a game with a 2 of spades, a three of clubs, the old maid and a green four from uno.

Apple pays
Michael Phelps 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Ultimate face off:
Michael Phelps and Chuck Norris





7 comments:

hilary and morgan said...

laura laura laura.
this hurts my heart.
it truly does.

Jenny Hogle said...

Oh Laura I love you. Its so true, but I must say I do love phelps. The comparison had me laughing for a good part of the day.

angiedunn said...

okay, don't hate. i love mp.

but.

this post made my night.

Jenny Hogle said...

You can't deny that he was the greatest part of the Olympics though.

Todd and Andrea said...

once upon a time i wanted to adopt you as my daughter. now, i might have to re-think my proposal. as a swimmer yourself, you should be ashamed of yourself. for me ... michael is almost everything swimming can hope to be. as a swimmer myself, i could only dream to have a fraction of his natural talent, and his work ethic.

i still love you, though.

Anonymous said...

HA HA!!! well, i love m.p., but i love chuck norris too, so this post was pure amazingness to me! ha ha

Brian, Lish, Lily, & Ruston said...

Laura, we never talk anymore, but EVERY TIME I read your blog I almost pee my pants! You're freaking HILARIOUS!