28 things we LOVE about Emily

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY!

This is why we love you...
1/2. You were Meredith from The Office for Halloween last year. See picture above.
1. You are an amazing piano player.
2. You are the favorite aunt of Eden and Delia
3. You have single handedly cleaned every room in the house and organized them. Two more miracles and you'll become a saint.
4. You are hilarious and came up with that last joke when Devin woke me up at 5:00 am when we were dating.
5. You hate candles and think they are the biggest waste of money.
6. You LOVE LOVE LOVE Halloween and you always say that you LOVE LOVE LOVE things in general.
7. You grammar check other people's blogs.
8. You make amazing crafts for holidays.
9. You think everything smells like carrots see this post.
10. You can't be late for anything or else you REFUSE to go. Except for church. You are consistently late every time.
11. You enjoy handling raw meat.
12. You wish that the 90s never ended and maybe you are kind of stuck in them.
13. A complete meal for you must include krispy kreme or dip-n-dots.
14. You are an amazing mom to Annie and Julia and you make tasty dinner for them every night.
15. Your favorite thing is to go to the 10 o'clock $5 movies at AMC where you must have popcorn (which you can only butter because you make it to perfection) and you CANNOT miss the previews or else you'll be ticked.
16. You are up to date on all TV shows and always know the best ones to watch.
17. The one time you hit me in the face with a baseball bat...it was awesome.
18. You love art can tell anyone the backstory on all of the classics of who painted them, when and what was going on in their life when it happened.
19. Your secret shame is that you love all books about serial killers and murder mysteries...maybe we should be nervous. (see #11 & #17)
20. You love to travel and go backpacking through Europe like every other week.
21. The age you wish you could forever be. Slash forever 21 your favorite store.
22. If I ever get you angry I have to walk around the house covering my ears or else you will spoil the book I am reading or the TV show I am currently watching.
23. Maybe you tivo Hannah Montana and say that its for Annie but you secretly love it and watch it.
24. If you could make a living out of laying out and reading Entertainment Weekly slash any celebrity gossip magazine you would.
25. You wish that you could go into a family as the nanny and make the widowed husband fall madly in love with you like in Sound of Music or The Nanny.
26. You have the most amazing laugh and our whole family tries our hardest to make you laugh. It always results in Julia and I being the DEVILS to each other.
27. Everyone thinks that you are my younger sister and that Amanda is the oldest sister, not you.
28. You try to revisit childhood experiences thinking that they will be just as entertaining as adult but they never are. Like this summer when we went to sun splash or when I was 18 and you were 24 and you made me go with you to the Renaissance fair and felt like nerds and heard a weird couple talking about which lady they wanted to invite to their three-some. This is when we realized you have to go on your sixth grade field trip to enjoy either of these places and that every one else there is crazy.


WE LOVE YOU EMILY! YOU ARE THE BEST SISTER EVER!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAP DANCE! WOOOOOH!!!!
(doo da dooh... doo da doooh)

stop the madness

I go to swim practice with Annie and Julia every day where EVERYONE thinks that Michael Phelps is a god. Quite frankly I'm bored with it and have started responding with this:

If you have five dollars and Michael Phelps has five dollars, Michael Phelps has more money than you.

Michael Phelps recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Michael Phelps' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Michael Phelps does not sleep. He swims.

If you spell Michael Phelps in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Michael Phelps is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with his heritage. He ate an f*ing Indian.

Michael Phelps has the best poker face ever. He once won a game with a 2 of spades, a three of clubs, the old maid and a green four from uno.

Apple pays Michael Phelps 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Ultimate face off:
Michael Phelps and Chuck Norris

Return of the Phone

Sorry for those of you who have been annoyed with me for the past two weeks when I didn't answer my phone. Maybe its because I accidentally left it in California when we went...

Laura's hidden talent:
I'm REALLY REALLY good at loosing my phone.

Example 1. Leaving my phone in California at the hotel. The very nice man who stayed in room after us found it and called everyone in my contact list to find someone who could tell me that he was going to leave it at the front desk. Finally got a hold of my Young Women's president while we were on Mt. Graham (random) for girls camp and she told me where I could pick it up. I called the hotel when I got home and they said they never got a phone turned in.

So Question. Why would a man go to HUGE effort to call everyone on my phone list only to forget to turn it in?
Answer options.
a. he is a jerk and wanted to get my hopes up
b. a worker at the hotel stole my phone

I'm thinking b.

In conclusion...RIP Samsung replacement phone



Example 2. The reason I was using this samsung phone was as a replacement for my razor that I had been using for the past two years. I had a sidekick two and thought I was sick of it so I got a razor. I hated that phone with a passion. T9 texting is stupid. I wanted the QWERTY keypad again but had to wait two years for my contract to expire. See also I was too cheap to buy another phone at full price.

While using the magenta razor I left it multiple places including by the pool rafts at Wal-Mart. After driving away I decided not to go back and get it because I was lazy and sick of the phone anyway but Devin was with me and said I was ridiculous or something like that and that I couldn't give up on life. Eventually the phone broke and the screen wouldn't light up anymore so I would have to guess if the phone was on, press a speed dial number to call someone, and hold it up to my ear in hopes that it was going to ring. It was awesome.

RIP Magenta Razor

Example 3. The worst of my examples is with my old sidekick 2. I got it and was so so so excited for the phone. It pretty much didn't leave my hand. (Yes I'm a nerd.) But I could use it to email which meant that on my friend's p-days on his mission when he would send emails we would send email back and forth like text messages so we could kinda talk to each other (Ya, ya I shouldn't have, but that's not the point). Anyway exactly a week after getting the phone I got gas on the way to work. Got to work and realized I had no phone. Went out to my car and called my phone with a friends cell and couldn't hear it. Then realized that I had left the phone on top of my car and driven away. This wouldn't have been as bad if I hadn't done it exactly a week before with my old phone which is why I had to get my new phone in the first place. Luckily I had insurance but I still had to pay another 100 dollars to get a replacement.

RIP Sidekick 2


Enter new phone.


My family has bets on how long it will be until I lose it. Hopefully I won't ever lose it, but given my track record... well I wouldn't give myself very high odds.